(via Wikipedia)

See how I emphasized “gluteal muscles” up there? That’s not just ’cause it means butt (heh), it’s ’cause MY GLUTEAL MUSCLES FEEL LIKE THEY’RE GOING TO FALL OFF. Those other muscles hurt, too. In a good way.

After week 2 of training (week 1 of the hardcore stuff), I am already seeing results. I am slimming down a little bit at a time, however I’m not losing much weight yet. That’s to be expected. I haven’t altered my diet that much.

Trainer time is hard, especially the two hour moderate rides. Staying stationary and riding for that long is a true test of my mental ability to stay stationary and ride for that long. It’s brutal, and the time passes so very slowly after about an hour.

I’m learning a lot about how my body works. Training with a heart rate monitor allows me to see what it means to be warmed up, what happens when I push myself with intervals, and how controlling one’s heart rate is very difficult. I’m learning what I need to do to get my heart rate to where it needs to be, and how hard I have and have not been working in the past.

Winter is almost in full swing. Continuing this routine will be good, and it will be challenging. I look forward to the tears.

• Self supported tour from my front door to Ipperwash Beach, Ontario. 98 of the hottest miles I’ve ever ridden.
• Tree Farm Relay – Our team took 10th, and I experienced intoxication and hangover in a span of about 6 hours.
• Stony 6 hour endurance race – My boy Brian and I took 2nd. Brian is strong like bull.
• Addison Oaks Chapter Benefit – I crashed. There was blood. Hurty blood.
• Iceman Cometh – placed just out of the top 3rd out of 100 Sport/Expert Clydesdales. This renewed my interest in racing.

Early in the season I burned out. I started training for Lumberjack too late, and after I quit halfway through my drive to compete was drowned out. I continued to ride a lot and accomplish some things that I am very proud of, but I didn’t race much. I just squeeked by with 6 races (I am required to complete 5), and with the handful of organized rides I did on the side I had a decent season.

My drive to compete started to renew itself after the 6 hours of Stony Creek endurance race. I had a blast and remembered what it felt like to do well. After that, I decided to train fairly hard for Iceman. I started going hill repeats and longer rides, and a little bit of core work. I ended up shaving 12 minutes off my previous time and felt great doing so. I finished the race with the feeling that I wanted to race more. There’s only one problem: the season is over.

OK, OK, the season’s not over over. There’s still plenty of riding to be done, and if I really wanted to compete I could race cyclocross. But I don’t want to race cyclocross. So there.

I decided to take two weeks “off” and eat like a total jerk before starting at 12 month training program from my sponsor shop, Cycle to Fitness. I will meet with the shop owner once a month for 12 months, each month taking on a new series of training regimens and goals. I started out by filling in some info on goals I have for the next year, the next 5 years, and in the very long term. Daniel (the shop owner) will use this info to build a program that meets the short- and long-term goals.

I feel I need this type of motivation. He provides me with a schedule that I can manage, and I have no reason to back out. I’ve known for 4 days that I have to ride for 2 hours on the trainer tonight. So if I don’t, I have no excuse. I’ve planned for it, it’s in my mind and in my calendar.

This is what I like about this program and what I’m looking forward to. I love to ride, but sometimes the stress of trying to figure out when to squeeze the rides in gets to me. This program allows me to plan ahead and say, “I need to do this, it’s important.” Not only to myself, but to my (extremely supportive) family.

So, I will document the process here. It will be interesting to look back and see how I felt about it starting out as Daniel continues to smash my will to live.

While wallowing in my own self pitty, I came to a realization. I’ve been fat for a long time. That may sound harsh, but it’s true. I was fat, obese, and I worked really hard to change that. The realization that hit me is this: I have to learn to be skinny. Losing weight is obviously not perminent. People put weight back on, I’ve done it and I’m doing it again right now. What makes this time different is that I see what’s happening and I know how to stop it.

Being healthy is as much of a mind game as it is a physical one. Fall hit, things got busy and I got lazy. I stopped riding as much and started eating out more. My portions grew and the combined slippage caused 10lbs of weight gained and lots of earned fitness lost. This battle is year-long, 365 days, 24/7. It’s hard goddamn work.

Things are going to change starting right now. My wife and I are getting snowshoes and we’re going to start hiking again. I’m going to get on the trainer at least every other day for an hour, no matter how boring it is. I’m going to start regulating calories and planning meals, making lunches, anything I need to do to change my lifestyle. I refuse to gain the weight back. I refuse to ignore the signs I’ve ignored over and over.

This isn’t a New Year’s resolution, this is a lifetime resolution. I want to be a healthy dad and a healthy senior. Planning one’s health is more important than any planning one can do, more important than finances or college funds or retirement.

I’m learning that being fit takes challenging myself to try new activities and forgive imperfect conditions. I may not be able to afford the right equipment, but if what I have will help me be fit then I need to deal with it. A little pain now is worth it.

So I’ll be back here often to keep notes on my progress. Those of you reading this will have to put up with a lot of bitching about old equipment or things that I find annoying. What’s important is that I keep writing. If I don’t I may just slip back into the blinders that hid my problems for a long, long time. Thanks for listening.