F***. This. Trail.

OK, that’s a little harsh and I don’t really mean it. I’m really projecting my hatred for climbing onto the trail, which isn’t fair. It’s an amazing trail.

I’m sorry, PLRA. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.

In all seriousness I have nothing negative to say about today’s performance. This was my first race in the sport clydesdale (200lbs or over) class. I placed 7th out of 14, dead center in the middle of the pack. I accomplished my one personal goal of coming in under an hour (56:58). I only had to walk one hill. It was dry (as in no rain from the sky), and while the trail had some sloppy bits it was mostly fast and sunny. All things considered it was a great day to race.

The climbing hit me hard during this race. My back is not strong so climbing has always been an issue for me. My back gets really tired and if I can’t take a break, it doesn’t get better. I found myself trying to push hard with my legs just to have my back respond with a resounding “NOPE”.

I’ve learned a TON from today’s effort:

1. I am ready for sport. Middle of the pack is very much acceptable early on.
2. I need to do hill repeats. Need.
3. Personal, vocal pep-talks work well. It breaks the quiet and wakes me up.
4. I need to eat IMMEDIATELY after a race. Stomach cramps are real, and eating kills them. Kills them dead.
5. When I can barely breath, the possibility of showing some ass crack is not even on the radar. (see thru bibs! :/ )

While the actual ride would bore you to tears, I do have one bit of drama. The final climb is a nasty climb. Steep, long, twisty. My teammate Jeff had already caught and passed me along with two other sport riders. As I trailed them up the hill and started to crest, I heard this awful retching noise. As I came around the last turn before the descent, one of the guys that passed me horked an entire bottle’s worth of HEED (sutble strawberry, from the smell of it). I involuntarily made a cringing face and panted, “on your right…”.

The next organized ride on the schedule is the Metro Grand Spring Tour, the 62 mile flavor. I’m really looking forward to doing my first 62-miler so early in the season. I will be pulling out my grass skirt and doing my weather dance this week for sure!

Update: the perfect picture. I have in my arsenal the following: oreos, drink, shithead pose. (Thanks to CMo via Miami for the pic!)

I just did 50 “reverse crunches”. Don’t feel silly, I didn’t know what the hell they were until I saw a little short video about it:

I wouldn’t say reverse crunches are as difficult as regular crunches, however, I have only been able to do 20 or so at a time until now. When I started ‘em up, I got to 20 and just kept going.

This isn’t the only surprising bit of progress I’ve come across lately. Last week during the weekly Maybury Miles ride from Cycle to Fitness, I was able to keep up with the fast guys both on the way out and on the way back. My mind wants to think they were going easy, but that’s not logical. They never go easy if they can help it. I’m usually in the middle group at my fastest. Naturally this was a huge surprise to both myself and those skinny little quick bastards that usually leave me in their dust. :)

A lot of it has to do with my training for Lumberjack. I don’t have a solid plan yet, I’ve just been putting in miles on the bikes and trying to build a solid base. I feel like I’m getting a good amount of positive payback for putting in the time and effort.

The first race of the season is coming up on April 26th. I want to be ready for that race. It’s my first year racing sport and while I don’t have any delusions about winning, I want to hold my own and be happy with the results.

There are a couple of races and rides between the 26th and Lumberjack on the 19th of June, but for the most part I’m trying to keep a steady progression of trail miles. Assuming I can pull off 20 singletrack miles now, and I want to hit at least 80 miles the week before Lumberjack, I need to up my trail mileage capabilities by 10 miles a week. I’ll be going out to Pontiac Lake, where the first race is held on the 26th, to try and pull of three laps (30 miles) this week.

I’m hoping for another surprise progress report from my body. It wasn’t until mid- to late-season last year that I was able to pull off a triple Pontiac. If I can manage that now during my base phase, I’ll be in excellent shape to move forward with my plans for Lumberjack. If not that’s OK, I’m still going to give it my best.

This is the cycling “pre-season”, if you will. Most of us have (well, had) yet to do a real race this year, so during the spring thaw we doodle around on roads and multi-use paths (MUPs) trying to build up as many base miles as our bodies can handle. Last weekend marked the first team race of the season: El J’s Hines Drive Time Trial. El J is a teammate who specializes in time trials because he enjoys pain and discomfort. Most people pay someone to beat them with an inanimate object. El J rides bikes that look like objects from the future. This race was fittingly named after him.

Since my back injury last year, I have been keeping a close eye on my back (or a few close nerves, rather, since I can’t really SEE my back). The injury was relatively minor but scary and something I don’t want to relive. Last week I did a hard training ride from work and ended up with a very sore lower back a few days later. This kicked my stretching routine into (healthy) overdrive. Since the ride I’ve made sure to stretch after each ride, and every day I’m not riding. So basically… stretch every day. EVERY day. Do not skip it, it is important.

I went back and forth mentally on Friday and almost backed out of the race. I had the email written up to Kevin, the organizer, and was about to send but decided not to at the last minute. I figured it wouldn’t hurt (or would it??) to wait ’til the last minute and then not race if my back shit the bed. No harm, no foul.

The day of the race I felt good. My back was still a little sore, but I figured I could sit back and race easy if I felt I would push it too much. I showed up to the shop early and helped Kevin get the number plates ready, then headed out to Hines to warm up.

Photo by Craig "CMo" Morris

(This photo has solidified the notion that my legs are F***ING MASSIVE. Better with which to chase you down, my dear.)

I warmed up with 3-4 miles of riding and mild hill sprints. My back was doing OK, so I decided to go for it and race all out. I showed up at the line just before my start time and headed out almost immediately. I got in the drops and stayed there as much as I could. I was surprised by how long I was able to hold a tucked position.

The TT rules were a bit unorthodox. If you were passed, you were allowed to draft the passer. You were NOT allowed to draft a person you were passing. I got passed a few times and was able to latch on for a few seconds each time. My favorite was when I was passed by my buddy MIKEWOODS!! (proper spelling). His buddy Chris was passing us on the other side of the road on his way back. He yelled out, “GO, MIKE, YOU’RE WITH THE WIND!” At that time I didn’t know Mike was right behind me. I thought, “why does he think I’m Mike? I don’t look like…” BOOM! Mike goes screaming by at 25mph. I sprinted and caught on, but couldn’t hold on for very long. Mike ended up 4th overall.

I hammered throughout the race, placing mid-pack (tied @ 18th outta 43) with a time of 38:07 over 12.8 miles; an average of 20mph, so far my personal best! I’m proud of my performance, it was a great start to the season. So far my back has not flared up, so hopefully I’m on the right track to a healthy season.

Afterward most of the teammates that raced went to Benny’s Pizza. The food was fantastic, especially the veggie pizzas. We all sat around and chatted about the race and the upcoming season. I really enjoyed meeting some of the new people and getting to know them a bit better. I look forward to racing with them this year.

Sometimes when my schedule is hectic and I have to drive the hour to the shop, a question arises: Would I ever leave this team to race for a shop that was closer to home. The answer is always “No.”

I like Daniel’s shop, but that’s not what makes me want to stay with the Greyhounds. I’m into all of this for the fun of it, not to win races. Don’t get me wrong, I want to win and I want to perform well, for both myself and the team. However, I hear a lot of stories about teams closer to home being very competitive and results-driven. That’s not what the Greyhounds are about. We train hard and perform well, often placing in our respective classes. But more importantly we have a good time together. We support one another and we’re always laughing it up. Right now I can’t imagine showing up to a race and NOT going to the ‘hound tent, NOT racing with such a fun-loving group.

It’s worth the inconvenience to race with these folks.

I finished my ride on Tuesday and was all like, “dang, I feel strong. It’s gonna be a good year!” Then Wednesday I was all like, “dang, I’m sore, but I still feel good. It’s gonna be a good year!” Then Wednesday night I picked up my new commuter and spent the evening in a flurry changing parts and stuff and basically getting every bike I own ready to ride. So then I go to bed and my back is all like, “WHOA, WHOOOOAAA… lots of bending over without much support there, friend. I’m a little weary.” So this morning I wake up and I can hardly walk. What did I learn? A: stretch EVERY DAMN DAY; B: don’t work bending over all the time; C: I got nothin’ for C but things work well in triplets, so there you have it.

I’m commuting tomorrow, sore back or not, so I better be stretchin’ tonight. Let this be a lesson to you folks. Stretch it, or… uh… something that rhymes with “stretch it”.

I made a joke recently regarding this bike that the 12 year old me would have repeated over and over to his friends until they told said 12 year old me to shut up. It stated the difficulty of riding such a bike with a raging “you know what”. Here’s a hint: it rhymes with “loner”, which is what I’ll be if I continue to lift my jokes from the pre-teens at the movie theater snack line.

Of the four bikes now in my posession (a number my wife did not agree to but alas, I am a ninja of the mind), this is the bike that will be ridden the most this year. It is my newest (for now! see below…) steed and I am in love with it. Not in the same way that I am in love with my wife. This type of love involves staring and daydreaming about our future together… which now that I think of it is very similar to how I fell in love with my wife…

Anyway, of the 50 miles spent on this bike thusfar, I can already say it is my favorite bike. It fits like a glove, although the standover is a wee bit higher than my last ride (omg omg again, see below!). This will surely result in many a testicle being assaulted when I bail on that rock garden at Maybury… again. That’s what I get for making a joke involving the male anatomy.

I’ve never ridden a full suspension bike before, so naturally my first encounter with this magical feat of engineering was nothing short of “OMG”. The bumps just disappear. The curbs I used to test the suspension usually jar me to my core if I don’t stand up. Needless to say, they shall jar no more.

I had been concerned about my cadence and how it might affect my ride on such a bike. I’m not very graceful, so I tend to mash. I’ve heard this causes quite a bounce on a FS bike, and I was a little worried that I would be riding a trampoline. I was relieved to find that, while some bounce was present, I wasn’t going to be bucked from the ride.

Everything about this bike is wonderful. By comparison, my last ride – while fun – wasn’t a top-end race bike. I’ve made quite a leap into the next range of equipment, and I’m certain it will make a huge difference. It doesn’t hurt that it’s sexy as hell, either.

Now about the other bike. I know, I’m as excited as you are!

When I tore down the old bike to set up the new one, Daniel (owner of Cycle to Fitness) noticed that my Marlin frame was cracked. Being that it was a Gary Fisher, I knew I had a lifetime warranty on the frame. I wasn’t thrilled since this was going to be my new commuter for the year and the warranty process would affectively hault my commuting for a few weeks until it was sorted out… OR SO I THOUGHT.

I took the bike to RBS to have it warrantied. A few days later they called me up with some very good news: Gary Fisher was not only replacing the frame, but the WHOLE BIKE! A brand new ’09 Marlin is on its way. I’m almost as excited about that as I was about the BMC… almost.

Here’s the new soon-to-be-commuter:

Decked out pics of this thing to come…